Sunday, May 29, 2011

The Book of Awesome

The Plan has landed. And I, for one think it was worth waiting for.

Let us enumerate Changebook's positive attributes.

It's short.

It looks great.

It plays to our strengths as a party.

There is a LOT of tax relief.

There is a LOT of spending cuts.

It was designed with considerable input by the party rank and file.

There is very little in it for the opposition to attack us with. (That nonsense about chain gangs? Gone in a couple of days.)

It is pro-business and especially pro-small business. It is pro-patient, pro-consumer, pro-families, pro-personal choice, pro-rural, pro-infrastructure, pro-Northern Ontario (with a separate document for the North to be released later) pro-transparency, and even pro-environment.

It is anti-red tape, anti-big government, anti-union corruption, anti-sex offender, anti-sense of entitlement, anti-waste, anti-health and welfare fraud, anti-crime, anti-traffic, anti-energy price gouging, and most importantly, anti-Dalton.

Is it perfect? No. Is it everything? No. But it is very, very good. And considering that the current Premier is unlikely to change any of what he's done going forward, and that he called the last 8 disastrous years "a good start" at a rally today, (where the staffers padding the crowd were very unwelcoming towards outsiders, let me tell you) it is quite clear that we have a definitive choice at hand. By the way, "a good start" is also the answer to the question, "What do you call 71 out of work Liberal MPP's?"

The Liberals, meanwhile, are reacting to this by making dick jokes. And drawing stick figures. And making fun of typos. Blink and you'll miss their side-splitting attempt to light a bag full of poop on fire and leave it outside PC Party Headquarters. Or maybe they'll say that female PCPO MPP's should be at home baking cookies. Or call someone a reptilian kitten eater. This, ladies and gentlemen, is what your government has been reduced to. Keep in mind they are trying to present themselves as the stable option. Hmmm.

Here on my unglamorous account, I hack out missives talking about what a doofus Dalton is in the interests of cheap lulz. These chuckleheads, who style themselves the best strategic minds in Ontario, are doing the exact same thing as me with a budget of Lord only knows how much, and it isn't even half as funny!

On Oct. 6, we are going to kick Dalton's tushy. Because we have a plan, and he has a bunch of grown men acting like 6 year olds thinking that they are going to change the outcome.

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